DGrayman in therapy
by TheDivineLotus989
Summary: Our favorite exorcists go to therapy with Komui as the therapist.To say that the whole thing fails  miserably is an understatement due to the characters' uncooperativity  and Komui's own lunacy.  Rated T for Kanda's use of the F word.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own -man ,Hoshino-sensei does.

D-Gray-man IN THERAPY

It was a fine,bright sunny day gracing the surroundings of the organization called

the Black Order, yet there were four gloomy figures dwelling in the office of

one Komui Lee. You could practically see dark clouds forming above their unfortunate heads.

All of them shared the same sentiment as they glared at the 'mad scientist.'

Allen,Crory, Kanda and Lavi were definitely regretting why they even bothered to leave their chambers.

,,Why must we do this ,again?''Lavi asked the question to no one in particular.

Komui sighed. ,,Lavi,this is just standard procedure and every now and then it is required to question the level of mental sanity of our Exorcists. Fighting Akuma isn't easy and leaves a lot of to deal with.''

,,So, you are checking if we are mad!''

Kanda of course, rudely bit off.

,,Well, not exactly. These sessions are for your sakes. You are to talk about

your worries,fears,your relations with others...where are you going Kanda-kun?''

Kanda was already grabbing the doorknob.,,This is a waste of my time.I should be training not whining here like a girl.''

Allen snickered. Kanda gave him a withering look

.,,Kanda-kun, this is a must do. It's a direct order from the upper ranks.''

,,Then you should be the first one to be monitored As you have...sister issues.''

Komui's left eye twitched.

,,Kanda-kun I warmly advise you to hold your tongue or you may find yourself with certain... assets,after eating your precious soba.''

Kanda shivered remembering the last time he accidentaly got sprayed with one of Komui's potions.,,Get back here BaKanda,I don't want to fast

because of you.''

Allen slapped the seat beside him urgently.,,Is food all you can think about ,you useless glutton?''

Kanda sat down angrily . Lavi rolled his eyes. ,,Here we go again.''

Allen already had his imaginary horns sprouting from his head. ,,What was that, girly face?''

,,I'll cut you beansprout''.

,,Try, you retard.''

,,That's quite enough ,the both of you.''

Komui quited them down. ,,You see, we will

have to work especially on your relations with eachother.''

,,But,but I get along with everybody.''Krory tried in a small voice.

,,Ha,but you lack self esteem;don't worry when we finish with these sessions ,all of you will be renewed ,better men...who will not even think

of wooing my sweet ,innocent Lenalee.''

The exorcists groaned.,,Komui,how many times do we have to tell you...''Allen said in a tired voice.

,,We are not interested in Lenalee.''All of them chorused. ,,We shall, see, we shall see...''Komui steepled his fingers and his sinister tone

somehow made the temperature drop a few degrees below.,,The first test will show me how much deprav...er what your subconsciousness is

like.I present you the Rorscharch's test.''

Silence.

Lavi yawned. Komui held up some really weird drawings .Kanda scrunched up his nose. ,,These are ink blots. There are ten of them.

I will show you each of them and you will take time in answering what you see,Lavi, since you've already done the test you are excused.''

Lavi widened his eye.,,Masaka...Panda jiji...'' ,,Yes Lavi.'' Komui's eyes glinted.'',,Your grandfather sent me the results .You thought you would cheat

you PERVERT!''

Lavi felt a migraine coming. Everybody else gave him questioning looks.,,Ma, lets do it,this looks interesting.'' Allen conceded.

,,That's the spirit Allen-kun .Now ,what do you see in this picture?''Allen leaned on to take a better look.

Crory was fidgeting in his chair and Kanda...

he simply looked pissed off.,,Etto...''

,,Hurry up beansprout.''

,,Shut it BaKanda I'm concentrating.''

,,You'll tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.''

Komui tapped the picture.,,Er..I see a...it looks like a moth.''

Komui scribbled. Kanda snatched it from Allen's fingers.

He started turning the card around and cheeing.

,,It's an inkblot.'' He deadpanned. Lavi laughed.,,Doushita baka usagi!''

,,Nnothing.''

Komui sighed.

,,Kanda ,you are supposed to be cooperative .Try and engage that tiny brain of yours.''Allen grumbled.

,,Allen do not insult Kanda. Is that your answer Kanda?''

,,You want imagination,I'll show you imagination. It's a woman without a head and it's torn apart by wolves

Got that?''

,,Aha.''Komui scribbled

.,,Crory –san''.

,,Um...I see a scary mask...''

,,Okay lets get to the second picture:

A:I see two merry clowns!

K: a cave

c:a Butterfly

pict 3

A:Two guys playing cards

K:Girls holding a basket

C:Girls holding hands on a reception. (Lavi bit his lips until they bled trying not to laugh here)

pict 4

A:A man seen from frog's perspective

K:A dragon,attacking dragon

C:An older man with a cane in his hand

pict 5

A:It looks like a bat

K:It's a bat, and two crocodiles at each side

C:...It's a bat

And so finishing with the scribbling ,Komui asked them to take five before moving onto the next task. Word assosiation.

,,Che.''Kanda spat irritated,squeezing the hilt of Mugen until his knuckles turned white .Allen was glaring at the ceilling.,,You are hungry aren't you?''Lavi asked in sympathy.

Allen's face contorted into one of a martyr.,,It's inhuman Lavi…I haven't eaten since yesterday evening...''

His stomach growled demonically.

Lavi backed off his chair unconcioussly as if he were afraid Allen might suck him into his being .

It didn't help that Allen had a hungry look in his eyes .Lavi shook his head.'What am I thinking?Allen is NOT a cannibal!'

The beast that is Allen's belly roared again.

,,Come to think of it ,I haven't eaten anything myself.''

Krory deadpanned licking his lips. Everybody tensed.,,Hey kids!''Komui was back.

Lavi let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

,,Ok,think of this task as more of a game.I say a word and you have ten seconds to say what first comes to mind.

There are ten words and Lavi ,you may participate this time.''-,,This is so stupid.''Kanda yet again announced his displeasure.,

,So,if you are ready...''

Komui continued totally ignoring Kanda,,Respond in this order Lavi,Allen Crory,Kanda Begin !''

1. **Tree** quickly!

L:Old

A:Life

C:Oak

K...(five seconds) branches

2.**book**

L:knowledge

A:Lavi

C:old

K:to read *Getting the hang of it Kanda-kun :)

3.**Luck**

L:women

A:bad

C:...(6sec)the same as Allen

K:dumb

4.**mother**

L:womb

A...(10 sec)

C...

K...What's a mother?

5.**hair**

L:long

A:white

C:black

K:soap

6**death**

L:inevitable

A:Mana

C:...(9 sec) Scary

K:bothersome

7**.man**

L:woman

A:the same

C:the same

K:what they said

8:**Love**

L:Girls!

A:...(7sec)er,souls

C:Eliade...

K:eternal *everybody stares* ,,What the fuck are you staring?'',,You used a big word,I'm surprised Bakanda is all.''

,,Settle down people lets continue and Kanda what did I tell you about bringing Mugen into my office.'',,Che...''

9.**money**

L:to be rich

A:...Debt...ah(great dislike to the word)

C:to owe

K:soba

10.**sex**

L;Desire (drool)

A:...(nine seconds)um *blushes* the red light district

C:love

K:Domination *EEHHHHHHHH!*,,Damare!Didn't you say to tell whatever first comes to mind!''

,,Pervert!''

,,Moyashi!''Kanda reddened.,,You are one,you are thinking of whores!''

,,No,it's because shisho goes there so I said that!''

,,So Allen,your first association to sex is Cross?'' Lavi interjected Allen:...*fainted*

Komui grabbed head .This is going to be a lot of work.'And the results are...worrisome.'

**It is just a beginning of troubles for our favourite exorcists. Feel free to review**


	2. Chapter 2

Preliminary results of the psychological evaluation

Conducter: Komui Lee

Examinees: Bookman jr. Lavi,Crory Alistair III, Kanda Yuu, Walker Allen

Examinee 1

Name: Lavi

Last Name:Bookman junior

Bithdate : August 10

Age: 19 years old

Gender : Male

Occupation :Exorcist of the Dark Order ,member of the Bookman clan

Evaluation: social skills are at high level,great sense of comradeship,

Extravert,likes to express himself through pranks,received good comments from fellow Exorcists

Lenalee Lee :Lavi is a good tactician.

He is useful when it comes to 's like having a walking Encyclopedia with you.

Miranda:He is nice and patient .I think I made him uncomfortable on our last mission by apologizing so much.I am sorry Lavi!

**Displays unhealthy sexual appetite. **

**Treatment :******Electroshocks and castration! **  
><strong> **Hypnotherapy, Therapy for sex addicts,**

Curing him is **priority number 1**

Examinee 2

Name Alistair

Last Name:Crory III

Birthdate: December 1st

Age:28

Gender:Male

Occupation Exorcist of the Dark Order

Evaluation: poor social skills but the examinee shows interest in improving them;

Most of the examinees life was spent secluded and had contact with one person.

Introvert,ocassional outbursts of overly emotional behaviour,timid around others,strong self criticsm, (total change of personality when the innocence is activated-further investigation needed),possible signs of paranoia and schizophrenia ,homosexual tendencies.

Comments from the other exorcists:

Lenalee Lee: He is sweet but really shy.

Miranda Lotto: I like him. He is quiet.

Lacks self confidence

**Treatment : Social-learning therapy, Self –spoken therapy,Dream analisis**

Examinee 3

Name; Yuu

Last Name: Kanda

Birthdate:June 6

Age: 19

Occupation: Exorcist of the Dark Order

Evaluation:almost none social skills,violent tendencies,has trouble relating

to people. Shows zero tolerance towards other members,prefers

solo missions,signs of possible psychosis,

displays nervousness during the examination,shows interaction only

to Lavi Bookman jr and Allen Walker,expresses his feelings using Mugen,

possible homosexual tendencies

Comments from the other exorcists:The most common word used to describe

the examinee is jerk and maniac.

Lenalee Lee:He doesn't like being near people but he is actually nice (Oh,

My sweet Lenalee,your humanity knows no bounds)

Miranda Lotto:He scares me

General Tiedoll: Yuu-kun is socially awkward ,he hasn't had a happy childhood

All he needs is a lot of love and understanding. My poor son!

General Cross: Bitchy thing,but damn good looking… O.O (note;bring

Cross to one of the sessions!Pair him up with Lavi)

Number of complaints during the year :3045

**Treatment : Anger Managment (a must do),Social –learning therapy,**

**Group therapy for trust issues,Cognitive behaviour therapy,Dream analysis,**

**Art Therapy …**

Examinee 4

Name: Allen

Last Name: Walker

Birthdate; December 25

Age 16

Occupation; Exorcist of the Dark Order

Evaluation: average social skills,has a height complex (reacts easily to Kanda Yuu's taunts),has a food fixation (possible bulimia), trust issues,martyr complex,hero complex,

Resulting in often injuring on missions,signs of depression, prone to self blame ,

(note: investigate the influence of the 14th in Allen's personality),generous with people,polite,kind,poor sense of direction(gets lost all the time)

Comments from other Exorcists

Lenalee Lee: I like Allen very much but he sometimes annoys me,because he doesn't let other

People worry about him or to help him.

Miranda Lotto: Allen is so well mannered but I feel that he suppresses his emotions and that can't be good.

General Cross: A good woman should fix him up .like Lou Fa girl or Lenalee*you bastard!*

Inspector Link: Allen Walker is a fine exorcist.I shall provide you ,if you like, with some of my notes I've been making these past months.

Perhaps they will help.

Received complaints during the year : 500 *in all of the missions his companion was Kanda Yuu.*

**Treatment: Group therapy (work on trust building,pair him up with Kanda Yuu),Dream Analysis, Art Therapy,Cognitive Behaviour Therapy**

_Treatment time is indefinite,the examinees have proven to be hard cases;special attention _

_Towards Allen Walker and Lavi Bookman jr,must work on supressing their animal urges _

_Towards my sweet sister.I'll perform lobotomy if necessary but her chastity mustn't be endangered!_

_**Well,that was it for appears to have an ulterior motive as always and Lavi and Allen better watch out! Keep reading **_

_**there is yet more to ne.  
><strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

Komui sipped moodily his cup of cofee. It was bright early and

he was waiting for his

'patients' to show up.

Breakfast was long finished and somehow the four exorcists

didn't find it fit to hurry up and get the session over it

.Komui sent a couple of Golems.

Just as he sent them there was a sharp knock on the door and a sour faced Kanda Yuu entered followed by Allen .

Who was still eating a chicken drum.

""Good morning Kanda-kun,Allen-kun" . Kanda grumbled a quiet good morning and sat down on one of the chairs."Gwod mwownig *gulp* Komui-san!"Allen cheerfully managed.

Kanda was looking at him in disgust and Komui prayed that the japanese man wouldn't start the morning with insults and arguments.

''Where are Lavi and Crory?''Allen asked sitting also as far away as possible from Kanda.

''That is what I am trying to find out. All of you are late."

"

"Ah!I apologize!Breakfast you know…''

''Che."A tick appeared on Allen's forehead."You want to say something Kanda?"

Before Kanda could open his big mouth,Lavi and Crory arrived.

''Good morning .Sorry if we are late.

Panda-jiji made us carry books for him

To the library.''

Crory bowed apologetically and so low that the end of his cape covered his head.''Are?Who turned off the lights?''

Lavi snickered but nevertheless helped Crory out of his predicament.

When all of them were seated and comfortable ,

Komui began with the explanations.

"First of all,welcome to your very first session.I hope that all of this shall prove beneficial for you.

We will be doing lots of interesting activities

,there will be no lazying about and there will be sharing your inner thoughts with the rest of the group.

I will often select a topic for you to discuss but you are also free to suggest one ,from today and now on you will be keeping dream journals….''

"A what?"Kanda of course.

"Dream journals, you will be writing your dreams in it"Komui said wryly and handed out four leather

,black notebooks to Lavi,who passed them around.

Kanda stared at it as if the journal somehow wronged him.''What I,if you can't remember your dreams fully."Crory murmured.

"Well, then you don't if you do I want it as detailed as possible,no matter what the contents are…''Komui gave Lavi an evil look.

''Beside these journals sometimes I could give you essays to write.

Or to draw a picture,if you are not good expressing yourselves with words…''

''*cough*BaKanda*cough*"Kanda whipped his head towards Allen who gave him a toothy ,Kuroi Allen ,grin.

''Okay,if everything is clear,lets get started'' Komui clapped with his hands.

''The first step to curing your condition is to admit that you have a problem.

What I want you to do is to read from the cards that I stored inside your journals.''

The group oppened their journals and started searching for the cards.

Lavi was the first to find his.

It was in a scarlet envelope ,sealed with a letter A which was also red.

''This one?'' He showed it to Komui who appeared somewhat excited.''Yes,yes open it up and read it to the others.''

Lavi stood up and openned the seal. As he read the contents his green eye seemed to pop out

any second . He looked at Komui who was patiently waiting for him to start reading.

''Um,Komui-san…'' ''Yes, Lavi-kun?'' "Are,are you serious about this?''

''Does it look like I am joking?

You are seriously ill ,, and the only thing that can cure you is the truth and admittance,read the card.''

''But Komui…"

''Read it!" Lavi gulped .Allen touched his elbow.''Come on Lavi,it couldn't be that bad''

'You think?' Lavi glared at him before openning his mouth

''My name is Lavi Bookman and I am a sex crazed addict.''

Silence .Pure silence. Jaws on the floor and Lavi sat uncomfortably,gripping the card.

''There That wasn't so hard. Lavi,once again welcome .Who is next?''Then hell break loose.

''ARE YOU INSANE?WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?''''If it's that what I need to read I am not reading my card.'' ''Minna,settle down…''Crory's voice drowned in the series of curse words ,most coming from Kanda. Komui took a deep breath and counted to ten.

Kanda suddenly got electrocuted. The others gasped .

The long haired exorcist stood still with his bangs sticking up,slightly smoking.''What the hell?''

''Ah, I forgot to mention,I spiced the soba supplies with a unique formula that reacts in an interesting way. It would depict your emotions

.For example ,if you get angry,you get electrocuted,it depends on the level of your violent thoughts

Now since you are up

,read your card,Kanda-kun,fufufufu…'' Kanda was speechless Is this how a therapy is supposed to be conducted?

(Komui is lucky that you don't know the law Kanda,otherwise it is very illegal to treat people like your personal guinea pig)

His teeth slighthly thorned from the shock. Komui was something not to be messed with

Otherwise a cheerful man ,

Komui tended to turn into a menacing creature and with Kanda's experience with scientists …he'll listen this time.

''My name is Kanda Yuu and I …have anger issues Grr ,ow.''

Allen quickly stood up ''My name is Allen Walker and I don't trust people,huh?'' Crory was the last one.''My name is Alistair Crory and I am an insecure person…*sob* it's true*sob* AAAAHHHH!''

''Crory-san don't cry,it's alright?''Allen felt like crying himself…this humiliation was worse than when he went to work on a slave boat ,that time when his shisho decided to make a million yen debt…He felt weak in the mind.

''Hai,first stage of the session is finished Keep those cards upon your person .

Let them be a constant reminder of what you need to improve about yourself''

'I'm throwing this into the first garbage bin I find' was everybody elses thoughts.

''Excuse me,Komui-san?''Allen put on his charming face.''How long will these session last.'' Komui leaned across the table omniously ''As long as it takes...What is the matter Allen-kun?Do you have somewhere else to be?Am I making you uncomfortable in some way?Do tell…"

Allen laughed nervously.'Someone help me…'

There was a knocking on the door and Lenalee let herself in,carrying cofee,refreshments and sweets. ''Lenalee-chan!Come to see your hard working brother?"Komui gushed.

''Actually Nii-san I came to see the guys ! I thought you might be thirsty.''

Komui's face fell. The whole group looked like a couple of shipwreckers waiting to be pulled out of the shark's way.

''Lenalee!Thank God!I mean thank you for bringing the food.''Allen mouth was watering.

'Che''

''Oi!You take what you get you ingrate!"Komui whipped his pen at Kanda who scowled ,before taking a cup of green tea.''sister complex…" "WHAT was that?''…

Lenalee excused herself ,for she was going on a mission with Miranda and some guy named Joe.

exorcists looked regretfully at her retreating back ,which action Komui of course interpreted oh so differently.

***Those freaking perverts!Can't take their eyes off Lena-chan.**

**She is pretty,but that is not the reason to stare so,so…**

**Breathe Komui,Breathe. Look at that Bookman thinking 'STRIKE' I'm gonna kill him.***

''Komui-san,er Komui-san?" Komui blinked. ''Oh,yes,where were we?Ah,yes

We shall play a game now. A stress relieving game called *sound of drums,Komurin is playing them* Change of identity.

I believe that during those years all of you got to know eachother so so.I would like to know how well do you know your fellow exorcists.

Kanda shall be talking about Allen,Allen will be talking about Lavi,Lavi will be talking about Crory and Crory,you have the honor to finish it with Kanda.

So what do you think?" "I think it majorly sucks." "Does it make a difference ,what we think I mean?" Allen asked bored. "Actually no.I am only asking out of courtesy.""Yappari."

''By the way **Rabbit-san,**just now did you take a good look,did you now?''

''What are you talking about Komui?"Even Lavi was losing his patience."I didn't miss the way you ogled Lenalee with that lustful eye

Do you want me to do something about it?Do you want me to poke it out?" Again jaws fell to the floor and the mentioned rabbit was shaking in his boots. "For penalty I want a three pages of essay :_Why do I observe women like sexual objects"_ Komui wrote something in his planner.''What are you waiting for?Talk so we could wrap this up for today and you could be on your merry ways for the mission and I can finally sleep,er do my paperwork."

Strangely enough,Kanda voluntered first with a strange glint in his eyes.''Let me get this straight.I am to impersonate Moyashi,describe him what not,talk about his flaws''

''That is the main point. Tell everything you know about Allen"

" My name is…actually my name is not so important,everybody else calls me moyashi because I am so short and white and puny.

I have an oldman's hair and annoying personality.I am so naïve that Naruto doesn't believe it (hehe,attempt at someone elses joke),also even though I have this gentlemanly façade,I am a crook,the WORST, I cheat at cards,lie through my teeth,because I have this pervert of a master ."Allen was fuming .''Hmm,what else,oh,I eat like a pig,suck food .My stomach is the bottomless pit.

The only thing good about me is…I really don't know.I fight okay,even though I cheat when sparing with Kanda."Kanda drew breath''Ah,that actually felt good'' ''Hehehehe,Komui-san,can I pleaaaaseee switch with Crory.'' ''No,can do Allen-san but you can write a buddy letter to Kanda,as an essay.''Sure,why not…"Allen started laughing maniacally.

''While Allen calms down,Lavi,you could say something about Crory?"

Lavi cleared his throat "Well,Crory-san here is a nice comes from a noble family but strangely he does not appear vain like some people I know that are of his status.

He is an exorcist,parasitic type, born on the 1st of December,weighs 77kg,

Height 190cm,he likes gardening,but I do not approve of your choice plants, are plain mean and deadly. …After half an hour Lavi was finished with his extensive analysis of Crory .''That's Bookman for you... it's my turn."Allen began

"Lavi is so far my best friend.

He is an exorcist and a Bookman by occupation

has great memory, likes to share food,likes girls ,widows especially,he is not a sociopath like some people or a girly face LIKE some people…'' ''Whoa,Allen you are going off the topic here…''Lavi urged him.''Oh it's alright,Lavi.

SOME people are just too STUPID to figure out that I am talking about them,BaKanda!''

''Go die,Moyashi!''Another electroshock "Fuck it!"

After this an explosion ensued which shook the whole vicinity .Yes,Kanda's emotions

were the size of an bomb and he recovered within minutes due to his regeneration abilities as a Third Exorcist. Komui had to break the session yet again because of the damage inflicted upon his office which was worse than an Akuma attack.**Stay tuned for more**…


	4. Chapter 4

_The Noah's attacks have been increasing these days ._

_And they even started killing ordinairy human beings._

_Earl is usually tactiful,these things seemed as if they _

_were a work of a man who snapped and decided to randomly _

_shoot people on the street._

_There was no trace of the innocence in the areas of the attack_

_and the exorcists were on missions that took months  
><em>

_.Allen was at his wits' end fighting akuma and searching for his master._

_That man had the nerve to disappear again and just when he was needed the most._

_The specter that was watching him everyday when he looked himself in the mirror was making him depressed._

_He couldn't wait to get back to the Headquarters,_

_he was missing even the therapy sessions._

_.He hoped when he got back, to see them all _

_,sitting together in Komui's office._

_His mind drifted to that letter that he owed BaKanda_

_.He actually hadn't gotten around to writing it_

_.Might as well do it now,until he got called again._

_So ,with Link by his side Allen started writing a buddy letter to the annoying samurai._

Dear BaKanda,

I hope that this letter finds you alive and well .

I don't want to think that I spent half an hour writing in vain.

I hope it isn't in vain,can you actually read the alphabet?

That's one more thing I would have to find out about you.

But what I know about you is that you are a JERK.

I've known you for years and yet all we do is fight and insult eachother

and lord knows you deserve it you retarded bastard

who can't remember a person's name

Even when his life depended on it,slowpoke.

You call me a fake at least I have manners to

begin with while you have none.

You speak out of turn,you yell at people (What did Miranda ever do to you?),

you eat your food loudly(you are the one to talk Allen),

you treat people like an liability,basically you behave like a child.

Nine year old to be precise.

You think you are so high and mighty and independent.

Independant my ass.(Look what you did,you made me swear!)

I recall one Christmas evening that I have been stuck with an incompetent slacker.

Really Kanda?Not being able to beat up eggs,you are stupider than I thought.

Heheh I heard that Komui doesn't even give you essays ,he lets you draw

.What does that tell you?

I want to thank you about the lovely description you gave of me on the session.

How's that fried hair of yours?For the first time

I am thankful for Komui's inventions.

Along this letter I supply you with soap since you wash your hair with it.

It's a pretty exotic soap from India,it tastes like food,

so I figure that you should use it for that potty mouth of yours.

I won it from a maharaja while travelling.

You should be honored because I used my crook skills as you call them for you.

Anyhow,stay alive snd come back so I could beat you up in a sparring match and take care of Lenalee

ALLEN Walker

The next day Timcampy returned carrying what it seemed to be a letter.

Allen openned it and stared .Inside of the envelope was a single beansprout.

BAKANDA!


	5. Chapter 5

The villain of the story (No,it's not Komui,give him a little credit)

was having another family assembly.

The Noah family was yet again discussing plans of

exterminating the exorcists, Well at least

the earl was. Somehow his family members kind of got lazy.

Jasdero and Debitto were stupid but they at least

tried to do the errands, Bolic included.

He kind of missed seeing their faces at the table even when

they were throwing food at each other or getting

high with paper glue. Road spent most of her time

being a plushie and 'getting over Allen'.

Good luck with that. Tyki was off fishing or

playing cards. That boy spends too much time around

humans . Sheryl and Wisely…just plain sit there

. 'Earl-tama? Why are you so sad?' 'Ah,Lero,you must

be seeing things I'm smiling as usual.''

''It's just that things are not progressing as I have hoped.

As I have incompetent followers.''

''Yeah,who sits on his fat ass doing nothing.'' Sheryl mumbled.

''Do you have something to say to my fat ass Sheryl?''

The earl asked .Sheryl sweatdropped.'

'You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

We are not even close to destroying the humanity

,and even further to bringing the 14th to our side.

''Well with all due respect earl,it won't do.

You kind of killed him. And transformed Mana into an akuma.''

''He can't be that of a grudgeholder.''Everybody sweatdropped.

''I am leaving you to enjoy your meal unlike the

rest of you I make plans which you oh so

sucessfully screw up.''When he was out of ear shot

or they had hoped so, Wisely let out a couple of curses.'

'Does he ever wonder if the problem is in him?

He pisses me off.''

''Now,now Wisely…''

''Really?What's up with all of destroying the humanity.

It sucks following him Half of us got killed.''

''They will be reborn soon

.You are talking like that because you miss the twins.''

''You are right.I miss those little psychopaths.

Uh, I bet the earl was fed with a frying pan ,

that is why his mouth is so big.

.'' Sheryl stifled a laugh.

''It's so boring in here.''The plush spoke,

her sown mouth hanging upside down.

''I miss Allen..''

''Road-tama you can't miss the enemy''

Lero chided.''I don't care.I like Allen.I wanna kiss him again.''

The rest of the family looked mildly disturbed.

''Hmph,I don't know why he insists about that

brat you have his look alike here already.''

''Shh,Fiidora,we do not speak about my lovely brother's

resemblance to that…thing'' Sheril hissed''

And for earl sakes don't play with your tongue like that

.It is bad enough that you've got eyeballs on it

.It is so unatractive!''

''Yo , minna.''Tyki announced his presence.

He was sort of flushed despite his grey complexion

and in a daze.'Hey, Tyki.' Road answered.

''What happened to you?''

Wisely asked the bafled young man.''

Tyki's mouth twitched and he supressed a snigger.

''N,n,othing at all…He,he,heee!''

''Everybody must've got up on the wrong foot this morning.''

Tyki tried to eat but ended up snorting his food.

Everybody was staring at him

.''Tyki sweety,are you feeling alright?''

Sheryl sat himself beside Tyki who inched away

.''Oh,nothing…''In three,two,one

''MWHAHAHAHAHA!It's too much I can't hold it in!"

The Noahs didn't know what to make of the hysterical Tyki.

''People,I must tell you this..it's it's gold!'

' ''Last night I happened to be minding my

own business around town and I run into

one of the exorcists What's his name?''

Tyki clicked with his fingers''

Ma,you know him Road,the tall one

the one that always gets lost,the vampire…''

''Krory.'' ''That one, Anyway, I decided

to fool around with him, so I transformed and

challenged him to a poker game. He is such a baka,

losing all his clothes again . Shonen wasn't there…hahaha!''

''Then he started ranting how he was a good for

nothing exorcist and that even therapy won't help.

And at that moment I was like . Wait What?

Get this Road. The exorcist are all subjected

to therapy,apparently they are in lot of stress

because of us and they are having therapy sessions

.Shonen,the 14th is having trust issues…oh boy…

and he is supposed to write his dreams

.And that Kanda is taking Anger Management…

Everybody laughed thunderously. ''

And ,and that young Bookman,pft is a sex addict HAHAHAHAHA!'!

!

' Tyki fainted of laughing at that moment.

''Oi,Tyki?Someone bring water!''

Road was however in deep thought ,a

mischievous grin forming on the doll face,


	6. Chapter 6

With the pesky missions finished Allen found himself in the safe arms of the Dark Order.

Many exorcists got hurt in their last missions ,including himself with a broken arm.

Miranda got herself in the infirmary ,he should probably go see how bad it is,according to Marie it is really bad.

Bloody Tyki and his Tease.

Things were not looking good,no innocence was found either. And he had Komui to deal with also.

While we are at it,Kanda was approaching his table,with a deep scowl etched on his face.

He stopped himself just in front of Allen and gave him a meaningful,angry look before slamming a bowl of rice

in front of him and embedding chopsticks into it.

''Kanda!What is the meaning of this?"

,,Hmph." He turned around and walked away with his ponytail swishing about,the ponytail which Allen itched to pull out of its weeds.

''Whoa,Allen,who died?''Lavi plopped onto the seat next to him while pushing out the empty plates that Allen left behind.

''Nobody,why do you ask?''

''Haha,did Yuu give this to you?''Lavi pointed at the bowl of rice.

Allen nodded.''Well,Moyashi,whatever you did,you better apologize,I beg of you."

''Don't call me that And why,what does this mean?''

Lavi looked at him in worry.''…Well,basically that's how japanese people serve food for the dead."

"…"

''Hey,guys!"Lenalee was waving frantically at them.''What are you still doing there?You are going to be late for the session!"

''Oh,joy."Lavi half growled He was by far affected by Komui's newest project The man

didn't leave him at peace and kept picking

on him during meetings He was seriously considering writing a complaint to the upper ranks

But then his life would be even worse.

Dr. Mengele would cut him open upon sleeping.

As they hurried into the office with Lenalee in tow ,the almost collided with Reever

who was looking pissed off as he was carrying a tower of paperwork,stumbling around."

''Poor,Reever-san,I better go help, you guys go inside and I'll be back with coffee for ni-san later."

And into the lion's den they went. Stacks of paperwork lied around and Allen had to jump over it to get to his

seat . Kanda and Krory were there .Krory the good guy he is was holding

the papers for Komui while he 'made order'.

''Ah,you two arrived,sorry about the mess,but Reever isn't a Komurin and those are banned at the moment..''

''Thank God' Were The unison thoughts.

''So,how are we today?Anything interesting happened in the meantime?''

"…..."

,,Okay, Today, I would like for us to talk about sex."

"Okay….HUH?"Allen bulged his eyes.

''There is no need to be embarrassed.

Everything that is said here will not leave this door."

"But,but why Komui-san?Why this topic?"Allen protested.

"Well,I think that it is important for you to know these things while you are heading into

manhood. By now you have all experienced some changes in your body

,you grew in height,your voices deepened

…Okay,well not everybody…''

Allen was blushing furiously while Kanda was fighting not to laugh .

"And also this is part of Lavi's therapy. Since he

refused to be treated, by the way owe me a couple of essays Lavi"

"Komui!I was fighting akuma,how do you expect…"

"Silence ,you lecherous thing!It is your fault that I have to bring this upon them."

The others glared at the rabbit whose posture faltered by the minute.

"So,what do you know about sex?Who wants to share?Allen?"

Allen gaped."Why,why me?"

"I don't know,your name just came up in my head."

"I don't know anything!I haven't even …*blushes*kissed"

(Road,Allen,Road)

"Hmm,I don't ask you if you practiced it ,do you know what it is"

"Well,it is a when a man and woman…er…when they…oh God."

"God,has nothing to do with it 's the devil's hobby"

Kanda bit off. Everybody stared."And who told you that Kanda-kun?"

"Tiedol." "Of course." Komui sighed.

"Hahaha,really Yuu?" "Don't call me that!"

"Perhaps,you would like to enlighten us,ero-rabbit?"Lavi's laugh died along with his soul.

"Well,those are personal things ,Komui.I can say that it is an intercourse between man and a woman in which they reproduce."

"So,you see sex as a means of reproduction?"

"Hell,no !It is also very enjoyable!And fun!It is an honor to delve between the woman's…"

Kanda hits him on the head."Well,he asked."

"I don't want to hear about it."

+.+" Very,interesting,mr Bookman ."

Lavi shuddered. When Komui adressed him like that…it isn't good.

"It is alright to indulge in it,it is a need,every human being experiences,but what is not right is to become so engrossed in it to the point that nothing else matters to you,like to this unfortunate being and Cross."

Komui directed his attention to Kanda.

"Kanda-kun,why are you so reluctant about this topic?

This is very important ,you do know where babies come from?"

"Of,course….What does sex have to do with it?"Kanda deadpanned.

Komui fell out from his chair."K,kanda-kun…"

"They come from holes."."Holes,Kanda-kun?"Krory blushed *Eliade*

Lavi was laughing ,gasping for air."Yeah,those …in the science department."

Komui looked sadly at him."Oh,Kanda-kun,as soon as we finish this I am giving you THE TALK."

Kanda cocked his head confused. Lavi was rolling on the floor,crying."AHAHAHA!

Yuu,you….HAHAHAH!"

"SHUT UP!" Kanda tried to violently stomp at the redhead?

Komui threw water at Lavi who got up shocked.

"Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Ok,Lavi answer me this: Do you touch yourself at night? If yes ,how often do you do it?''

….

"I'll be a good boy…"Lavi whimpered

"LAVI!If you don't answer I'll ask someone else,Allen for example?"

"LAVI,I BEG YOU!ANSWER THE QUESTION!"Allen started shaking him.

"YES!'' "How often?"

"It depends."

"On,what" Komui,started writing."On,the need,I don't know ,three times …"

Lavi stopped as he felt a cool metal pressed against his jugular

Kanda was looking pissed"Did you do it on our last mission together,huh?I heard some noises but I thought you were having a nightmare…You were jerking off,you fucker!"Lavi gulped. ''Oh,my GOD!I heard you too Lavi,I even thought of shaking you awake…"Allen grabbed his mouth.

"I shall slice those filthy hands you were offering me food with them damn

it!

Is that why you don't have an eye,huh?"

Komui,stared at the scene Kanda was in the middle of decapitating Lavi,

Allen was holding him back…

Krory was silently watching them.

"Wait,missing an eye."

"If you masturbate too much you go blind….Tiedol said so."*_*

**It will be continued…**


	7. Chapter 7

"The two of you are hopeless!"Lavi could hear Komui's shrills all down the hallway he was walking to. Even though the office was

closed you could hear every sharp word directed to Allen and Kanda .Lavi didn't know the details but he presumed

that they really screwed it up this time.

He didn't bother to knock,Komui wouldn't certainly hear him anyway, he was angry that much ,so Lavi simply let himself in.

"Hey Komui-san." As he predicted ,across Komui sat a flushed Allen who was on the verge of tears and a stubborn looking

Kanda glaring sideways."

Lavi-kun, I am sorry but you will have to come on some another occasion,this schedule is reserved for this two…two misfits.

Kanda clenched his jaw and threw a hateful look at the "therapist".

"But...what happened?"Lavi insisted.

"Why don't THEY tell you. These are not responsible personas you see,

these are bratish children .

From now on I shall treat you as such ,did you hear me?"

"Yes,Komui-san."

Allen answered out of politeness,hoping he would soften Komui's heart. NO such luck.

Lavi rewinded his mind to this morning and Kanda did act more agitated than usual.

Komui massaged his forehead.

"Well if you are interested I can fill you in,

I suppose.

That way I can also put some more repenting into THEM."

_Several hours earlier_

"Will you STOP poking that egg,baka usagi?"

Lavi blinked at the samurai across from him.

Kanda was gripping his chopsticks and eying

Lavi's plate of fried eggs with bacon.

"What's the matter Yuu-chan?Do you want some?"

The other exorcist offered his food with a grin.

"No!"

Allen,already finished with the usual mountain of food was playing with Tim,pulling the Golem's cheeks ."I'm so bored…"

"I don't want your damn eggs..just ,stop poking them like that…"

"But,why?Mo,what is wrong with you?"

Kanda grumbled something uncomprehensive and turned his head towards Miranda and freaked

out even more.

He pushed away soba ,appearing disgusted with something.

"Leave him Lavi.

Kanda is always like that in the mornings.

"

That's none of your business Moyashi."

"It's Allen.A-L-L-E-N."

"Don't .Care."

"Okay,then I'll start calling you Ponytail."

"Go die!Annoying git!"

"Why are you guys arguing all the time?"

"Shut up!" The other two chorused.

Lavi pursed his lips He still hasn't been forgiven

for yesterday's sex talk with Komui. Oh,well…

"Oh,yeah, let me pay you back for that treat from yesterday."

Allen's eyes glinted .

He pocketed out a bowl of rice with two chicken drumsticks

sticking out of it an put it in front of Kanda.

Lavi stared.

"Moyashi…." The japanese stood up.

"You dare insult my culture!"

Everybody in the cafeteria started clearing up.

"You were the one serving me food for the dead you ass!

Pardon,me Miranda!"

"Fuck you and your gentleman attitude,

may you choke on those chicken legs!"

"After you BaKanda…"

"Kanda!Allen!" Reever called out across the hall.

"You are wanted in the kitchen."

"The kitchen?" The rowdy exorcists ceased the violent activities,

being Kanda trying to shove a chicken drumstick

down Allen's throat and Allen pulling viciously Kanda's hair.

The rabbit in between was too shocked to respond.

They really needed therapy.

In the kitchen,Jerry ,the chef and supervisor

Komui waited for Kanda and Allen.

They were talking merrily.

"Ah,Kanda! Allen!Right on time."

Komui motioned for them to approach.

"Yes,Komui-san!What can we do for you?"

"Well ,it's not what can you do for me.

It is actually what can you do for Lenalee-chan!"

"Lenalee?"Allen asked confused.

"YES!I am making a surprise party for her.

She's been feeling down lately

and I want to cheer her up. So I need you two to help

a bit in the kitchen while Jerry-san busies

himself with Lenalee's cake."

"And what are we supposed to do?"Kanda growled.

"You are going to make food for the others instead of Jerry-san."

"…."

"…"

"Hahaha!Come on guys it will be fun.

Consider this a special mission."

"Yes,you only need to cover for today's lunch.

I made everything ,

the only thing you have to do is to take order

and give them the prepared food."Jerry supplied.

"I guess even he doesn't trust Komurins to do the work."

Allen whispered.

Kanda elbowed him."Don't give him any ideas!"

"Nani,nani?You said something?''

"Nothing!"

+_+"I could have sworn that I heard something

concerning my Komurins…"

Allen sweatdropped. "Well,if everything is clear,

off to work you two …"Komui shooed them off.

"A –set lunch!"

"B-set for me!"

"Hurry up BaKanda!"Allen yelled hurriedly over the noise

while apologizing profusely to the other exorcists

and finders for the delay.

"Shut it,moyashi!I'm searching for it!"

"Well,hurry up,I even labelled them,can't you read?"

Kanda almost broke a plate in fury.

They divided the work .Allen would be taking orders and Kanda would send him the food they previously

sorted,but somehow they managed to mess it up ,

thanks to Kanda's bad memory of what are some

dishes named and the difference between

A,B, fucking C's.

Allen was having a nervous breakdown in the front.

The line for the food got long and finders

were particularly aggressive.

"Where the hell is Jerry-san?Is this the new help ?"

"…Are you cursed?I can't take things from a cursed person.''

And so on.

"Kanda!You gave me the wrong dish again!

Lasagnas are not the same as pizza!"

"Grrrr!" 'What did I do to deserve this…"

Allen cried in his mind while eying the food hungrily.

"If you are so smart,lets switch!"Kanda bellowed.

Hmm,that could actually work.. **Wrong again people. **Kanda ,the antisocial bastard,made everything worse in the front.

"What do you want?"He yelled at the finder

"Er…"

"Time's up. You don't get anything. NEXT!"

"I want soufle du…"

"We don't have that. NEXT !"

"KANDA!"Allen gaped at him."What are you doing?"

"Dealing with customers."

"That,THAT is not the way!You must be polite…"

"Tell him Allen-san!"

Kanda turned his monstrous face towards

Chaouji who shrinked.

"What did you say,you bastard…"Kanda rounded on everybody with

his black eyes.

" ...Oi people…if you don't shut up this instant

I will start serving only bread and water.

You got that…?"

**Silence**

…

"We are going to get scolded with Komui.."

Allen threw his net hair in frustration.

"Che."

"Che?CHE? Is that all you can say now?"

"What is your problem?"

"My problem?Where do I begin?"

Allen threw his hands in the air and started pacing down the kitchen.

"I always get stuck with you in these things..And you act like a child complaining and slacking off…"

"No Moyashi!You complain about every single thing!Like a woman!"

"YOU couldn't differ between spaggeti and ramen BAKANDA.

That is no small matter."

"Hmph!'

"NO wonder. Every day all you eat is soba,soba,soba,

soba,soba,soba…!"

"Damare!"

"…"

"Grrrr!Now I am hungry."Kanda clenched his stomach as it

made a demanding sound. He blushed.

" Hehe,me too. Oh ,well…"

Kanda turned his head to Allen while the white haired exorcist busied himself with the plate.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping myself.I'll make some dish."

Allen started cutting a cabbage profesionally.

"And if you help I'll be merciful and give you some."

He added .

"Kso!"Kanda was fidgeting. For one he hasn't eaten all day

and on the other side it was a disgrace that the younger boy cooks for him.

Where the hell did Moyashi learn to cook?

…"On second thought,forget it.I don't want to eat eggs with shells in it or or

unpealed potato…Just behave."Kanda narrowed his eyes to slits. Oh ,he'll behave.

Just you wait Moyashi.

Needless to say that when Jerry went to check upon them,he fell into a catatonic state upon seeing the

sight of his precious kitchen.

Lenalee's party was delayed because of this.

**What would you do if you saw flour everywhere,**

**eggs glued to the wall and two dirty exorcists on the floor**

**with pieces of cabbage in their hair staring with wild eyes back at you?**

Komui definitely was not happy.


	8. Chapter 8

The punishment that awaited Kanda and Allen for the caffeteria incident came in the form of one Cross Marian and Komui's creativity.

Someone up there was having a great laugh on their expenses.

It all started with a big package adressed to the exorcist Allen Walker.

Allen didn't need to open it to know what awaited him inside. Or so he presumed. The package was dumped upon him

early in the morning by a finder from Paris who happened upon meeting Cross there.

And it wasn't your regular package either .

It was in a form of a wooden box ,the size of a writing desk. Allen nearly had an heart attack when he got it.

On the box also said **HANDLE WITH CARE OR YOU ARE DEAD**

'What did shisho do this time?'

The dreaded question was hanging in the air.

Well,there was no need to cry over a spilled milk. He grudgingly hoisted it on his back and carried it

thirty floors to his room,losing his way once or twice =_=.

By the time he got there Allen lost that little will of life he had in him.

"Hey,Moyashi!What's up!" A grinning Lavi approached him.

Allen somehow resented him right now for being so cheerful.

"My..name…*pant* is *pant* Allen."

"Ma,ma, what you have inside that box? Debts?Hehehe."

He promptly stopped laughing .

"Seriously?Maan,just give it back to him.

You are not obligated to do errands for him. You are a full fledged exorcist."

Lavi …even he knew that was pure bullshit. No one escapes Cross's clutches. **No one.**

The man was a brave ,efficient exorcist but he was also akin to master all the vices that were mentioned in the good book.

Even invented a couple of them from time to time.

"Do you need help with that?"

Allen nodded .His poor back was shaking. Now he knew how Atlas felt,holding the world all the time…

With Lavi's help they got to Allen's room very swiftly.

"OK,just dump that thing and lets go and annoy Yuu-chan."

"Er…no thanks Your hobby is kind of suicidal. Besides I don't think I would want to see Kanda right now."

Allen's mood if possible darkened even BaKanda just had to be difficult yesterday.

Serving food in cafeteria wasn't so hard ,even a braindead person could do it,but nooo,

Kanda just HAD to mess it up.

"You guys aren't on good terms right now huh ?"

'Since when are we on good terms? Lavi can be so stupid

No wonder, when he hangs out with a dimwit.'

Allen's bad temper reared its ugly head.

"I'll just stay here and make an inventory of the lovely things Cross sent me."

"Kay,then I as your self proclaimed best friend shall help you."

Lavi made himself comfortable on the floor.

Allen gave a small smile."You are that bored huh? All right.I will write and you just read to me if it is a notice

,or a bill or a death threat…"

Lavi chuckled and busied himself with opening the box.

"Allright,lets begin."

"…."

"So?"

"…."Lavi was staring at the contents with morbid fascination.

"Lavi…"

"Allen?Where do you put exactly a baby in your inventory?"

"What?"Allen thought he misheard him. Lavi just motioned with his hands for him to approach.

Among the bills (lots of them) was also a baby sleeping ,comfortably snuggled in a red blanket.

"**EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"**

Lavi slapped Allen's mouth shut. "Shh,you are going to wake it."

…The baby however wasn't waking.

Allen snapped out of his stupor and started freaking out.

"Oh,my God,oh,my God!A baby!Why,why isn't it waking? Could it have suffocated?"

He worriedly looked at the lithe child but since it's chest was rising, it was either deaf or a rather heavy sleaper.

Lavi took out a paper attached to the child's blanket.

**_Allen,_**

**_I entrust you to find a home for the litle twerp._**

**_Got it from some delusional lady that claims that it is mine._**

**_Just dump it at the next orphanage ._**

**_Cross_**

Allen felt a wave of nausea. It, it was HIS child.

And he just packaged it .That,**that akuma**.

The white exorcist fell to the floor staring in shock at the baby who was moving in its sleep.

It had red hair.

"Allen,I think that you should report this to Komui-san and he will find a suitable home for the kid."

Lavi put his hand on Allen's right shoulder and squeezed it lightly.

Allen nodded, gently lifting the baby and with light footsteps went with Lavi to Komui's office.

Komui was for the first time in his life organizing paperwork under Reever's watchful eye,of course when Allen

and Lavi decided to visit him.

"Allen-kun ,how may I…"He paused when he saw a small bundle in Allen's arms.

"Allen-kun,what is that?"

Lenalee who was also there ,approached to Allen and gasped.

"Ni-san,it's a baby…"

"Well that is all fine but how did it get here?"

"Shisho ,send it to me. It's his."Allen deadpanned.

Komui choked on coffee."Come again?"

Allen sighed before sitting down.

"Allen got a package this morning. I was helping him bring it to his room and we

found inside this litle guy."

Lavi motioned at the red blanket.

"Hmmm,Lavi,I think it's a girl." Allen spoke with a gentle smile on his lips.

"It worries me that she hasn't woken up yet. You must've been exausted and uncomfortable in that box."

He brought the child closer as if to warm it up.

"She is so pretty."Lenalee cooed ,touching the baby's baby scrunched up cutely it's nose.

"That man is a monster…Don't worry Allen-kun,I'll give the baby a check up and then I suppose we

could find some orphanage for her.. Hmm,indeed it looks like a girl."

The baby opened it's eyes and Allen was introduced to a pair of dark blues He held his breath

as the baby (dare he say scrutinized him?) stared at his face.

He was half expecting that she would start crying. Small children shied away from him on first glance

because of his 'old man's hair' as Kanda would put it ,and arm .

However the baby smiled and Allen thought it was the most beautiful smile he has ever seen.

Who would have even thought of leaving something this precious behind.

Lavi interrupted their little moment with stating the obvious.

"Ah,he's awake!"

"She is awake."Allen insisted The child yawned before slightly protesting.

"I think that she is hungry.I'll go find some milk,Jerry must have some in the kitchen."

Lenalee sped off.

"Hehe,Lenalee-chan awakened her motherly instincts."

Lavi grinned. And regretted it .

Komui grabbed his scarf and started jokingly choking him.

"Hehe,you will leave Lenalee-chan out of motherhood ,marriage and even dating…"

"S,sorry!"

"Guys,keep it down."

Allen started rocking his charge at the moment.

Lenalee was quick to return and Allen gave the baby the bottle.

Komui meanwhile,was in deep thought

And when he thought ,disaster occurred.

His glasses shone.

"Well Allen-kun,give the baby to Lenalee so she can bring her to the infirmary and we'll just have a little talk."

He sent a black golem somewhere.A very familiar black golem.

"Hmm,as you see,we'll try and find a suitable orphanage for the little one and since…"

Allen lift up his hand

"I know what you are going to say,someone has to take care of the child and it will be me.

I volunteer for the task .Shisho,after all gave her to me."

"Hmm,basically yes .BUT … you will not be doing this alone.I will asign you someone else to help you.

That way ,the two of you will finally learn some teamwork and responsibility."

"Okay"

3,2,1 "Wait a minute…You don't mean!"

Kanda Yuu entered the office."You asked for me?"


	9. Chapter 9

**Previously on -man in therapy**

_Allen lift up his hand_

"_I know what you are going to say,someone has to take care_

_of the child and it will be me._

_I volunteer for the task .Shisho,after all gave her to me."_

"_Hmm,basically yes …BUT_

_you will not be doing this alone._

_I will asign someone else to help you._

_That way ,the two of you will finally learn some_

_teamwork and responsibility."_

"O.K_"_

_3,2,1 "Wait a minute…You don't mean!"_

_Kanda Yuu entered the office."You asked for me?"_

Currently Kanda and Komui were in a staring contest. Komui just told him he became a child caretaker. Was this guy insane?

"Absolutely not. That is not my problem Komui and I refuse to be a part of it."

"I'm afraid that you have no choice in this matter .This is also the part of the therapy."

Kanda slammed his palms against Komui's desk.

"I'm sick of your fucking therapy!"

"Now,now Kanda-kun,don't be hasty."

'Kanda-kun' threw the desk across the room,nearly hitting Lavi and Allen.

"KANDA!"

"No!First he makes us sit around idly for an hour and chit chat,then he makes me watch hours and hours of

documentaries about conceiving …

I can't look at the food the same way ever again!"The young exorcist all but yelled.

Allen and Lavi looked sadly at him,silently agreeing about the ridiculousness of therapy it brought.

Komui however was very interested in this little revelation

and decided to make a mental note about looking into it further on their next session.

"Besides,I don't know anything about raising children. I am an exorcist not a …governess.''

"What Yuu-chan is telling is ,this is a young life you are entrusting to these two.

What if something goes wrong."Lavi reasoned.

"Everything you laid out is understandable .But you seem to forget that I am not asking you two to

take her in stay at the Black Order will be we find some orphanage or a nice family."

Komui adjusted his glasses.

"And how much exactly is temporary?"Kanda inquired.

"Two or three months tops."

"…."

"Mah,we don't need anyone.I'll be taking care of her myself.

Nothing good will come out of Kanda babysitting."Allen scoffed.

"Nani?"Kanda growled.

"I don't want to hear it .You can't expect a child to take care of a child."

"What…." "I want Lenalee to help."Allen said firmly,cutting Kanda off.

"Lenalee?"Komui pursed his lips,brain again going overboard.

"Well,she is a girl. She surely can be more assertive with the baby than BaKanda."

Lenalee's face lit up."Yes,ni-san I will help either way."

Komui melted at the sight of her face. His sister was such a caring soul.

But sadly this task was only for the two most uncooperative exorcists this land has ever seen…

They will have to work together so help him the good lord.

"No can do. decision is undisputable. Kanda will help you with the child .Unconditionally.

Whoever gets the job better done…will walk out of therapy.

I will dismiss him How does that sound."

The white and dark head perked at this.

Kanda glared at Allen a bit before grunting his answer.

Komui grinned."Then it is settled. You should be keeping a report of the child's improvement

during this asignment.I expect you to read it to me on every session

and come right away if the baby gets sick or if you don't know what to do

Matron will explain everything about taking care of the babies…"

Lenalee slowly muttered to Allen

"Call me if you need anything."Allen slowly nodded.

"Next time I expect all of you on our usual session Now everyone scoot,I need to clean the office.\

Kanda,Allen you go to the infirmary.I think that the check up is over ,and make sure you name her."

Komui waved at them cheerfully.

Kanda swore profusely in his native language and pushed Allen violently with his shoulder.

This is going to be fun…

"Well,this sure is a healthy baby girl,maybe a litle malnourished, but we will remedy that."The tall head nurse spoke.

"Where is she ?"Allen asked eagerly.

"She is in that crib over there,we just finished bathing her. I understand that you are her caretaker?"

Allen nodded slowly."We've come to learn a bit about taking care of babies.I'm afraid that I really don't know

anything about them."

The nurse pursed her lips."I wouldn't expect that you do,.

You are merely a child yourself And who is **we **if I may ask?"

Allen instantly felt irritation.

"That thing over there."He pointed at Kanda's direction.

The japanese was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and eyes closed.

"Oh,the supervisor informed me that someone

else will be helping you.I can't imagine why the supervisor picked him?"Allen wondered that himself.

Surely there are other ways for them to cooperate and not to risk a child's life.

Kanda was known for his cold heart.

On missions,anyone who was proved to be a hindrance

was left behind without hesitation How could someone like him abandon

his needs for another's sake?

Allen swore he would make sure that Kanda has litle or no contact what so ever with the baby.

He somehow doubted that Kanda would even bother to busy

himself with the little angel. Allen lovingly looked at the crib.

"Hmm,she was restless ,not a people fan so don't despair Allen-kun if she doesn't like to be picked up."

Another nurse commented.

"Really?She seemed really calm when I held her."

"That's good Then,I'll tell you the basics.

From my examanation I found that the baby is 6-10 months old

so it will need to drink milk from the wet nurse…"

"A wet nurse"

"She will need breast milk .You 'll have to provide it somehow."

"Eh?"Allen was mildly horrofied.

"Also, you'll need diapers,lots of them.

Feed the child every 3 hours ,she'll let you know I guess.

I'll provide you with some books on that subject

on second thoughts. You will also need to learn how

to hold a baby They are really fragile,

don't want to frighten you but one wrong movement

and you can snap their necks. You have to be careful in

what you put her to sleep. The crib must be sanitary so

she doesn't catch any infection or suffocate.

And the room must be warm but not too warm

and a bright place .Ask Komui to move you in a different

room with windows if you don't have them."

Allen's head was spinning with so much information.

**How can he memorize all that!**

Also he was now scared shitless.

"There is also a high possibility that she will be

awake in ungodly hours so you or

Kanda-kun should check upon her with Golems…"

'But…I'll die if I don't sleep Shisho..why?'

Allen wanted to scream,depression arising again.

The two nurses were looking amused behind his back Allen turned slowly around.

The baby was making some noises enough to disturb

Kanda from his rigid state .Glancing at the cradle and the demanding noise,he pushed himself of the wall and

made his way towards that's how Allen found him,leaning slightly over the cradle with a comical expression on his face.

As if the swordsman was waiting for a bomb to explode.

And really perplexed.

Kanda noticed that they were looking at him and quickly withdrew.

"It,it wants something."

"She, Bakanda .SHE wants to be picked up.

So ,pick her up,while I carry the cradle to my room."

"Why don't you carry it ,you already act like you are its mother."

Allen shuddered."Please..don't say that It gives me the creeps.

Whatever,then you carry the cradle and these books,please."

Allen pushed a pile of books in Kanda's arms.

"Che!Don't tell me what to do,Moyashi."

"It's Allen!"

"Boys…" The head nurse hit their heads with her fists.

"When around the child ,there will be no arguing like are sensitive."

The both of them nodded holding their heads.

And so the two exorcists and a baby were off to the adventure called life.

**Poor Kanda and Allen. Komui really likes to torture them.**

**But that's what makes it fun.**

**I'll concentrate a bit on the other exorcists also and bring 'more patients'.**

**Thank you minna for the wonderful reviews. **


	10. Chapter 10

"Hmm,I think you should put it a little more to the right." Allen was eyeing critically the position of the cradle.

Kanda's eyebrow twitched. He dropped the cradle unceremoniusly at the center of the room

and rushed to get out of the bean's space which was grating on his nerves.

Whilst Kanda's own room was comfortaby dark and modest,with a colored glass window

which had a nice mix of purple and midnight blue in it and cool temperature,Allen's room however looked to him unbearable.

For one,it was incredibly bright,the brat was on the sunny side and even had a series of oil lamps

which produced a lot of dryness in the room , not to mention that it was as hot as in hell.

Also the wall beside the bed was ornated with a picture of a ghastly creature,Kanda couldn't really tell what it was but it who ever bought it ,had bad taste.

Tiedoll would certainly looked like a demented clown with a messed up eye ,carrying a coffin on his back,while it's hand was shackled.

Morbid.

"And where do you think you are going Kanda?"

"Training." Kanda lied without turning his back.

Allen gave a smile so fake that would make you want to scratch your brains out. Fortunately Kanda didn't see him do it."Is that right?"

He put the baby in the cradle and moved it out of harm's way. And slammed the door shut with his innocence. Kanda didn't even flinch.

"Open,the door Moyashi."

"Not,until you hear what I have to say. Komui chose you to be the child's guardian and I can't do anything bloody about it to change it.

So go on and train ,I don't expect you to handle her as much,wouldn't want her to catch your stupidity…"

"Moyashi…"

"You have no business around her,BaKanda but you'll do some trivial chores just so your name

gets mentioned in the report When you finish your training ,you'll come to my room and we'll discuss

what she should be bought.I have managed to find some diapers but what we need is milk and Komui-san

provided me with the adress of a woman who has it."

"Jerry has milk in the caffeteria."

"She is small,she can't drink cow's milk it's full of fat and if you listened to the Head nurse

you would know why she must drink this kind of milk."

"Grrr,fine.I'm going out. Just give me the adress."

Allen blinked."You'll do it?" "Che." "Okay,we'll be needing it in three,four hours.

Hmm,what else ,set your golem so it can communicate with Timcampy. Where 's Tim?"

The golden Golem was flying around the cradle entertaining the baby. The small one was raising

her hands in attempt to touch it. Allen laughed. "Tim,don't tease her .Let her touch you."

The Golem grinned and plopped on the baby's chest swishing its tail.

"Tim,this is…er,what should we name her Kanda?"

"Why are you asking me? You said I have no business with her."

Did Allen imagine it or was Kanda feeling a bit insulted.

"Well,I suppose you could help me naming her." Kanda sighed and sat on Allen's bed.

"So,what do you think of Eve?" Allen took out a book listed with names.

"Eve?" "Like in the bible. And it's English."

"It's stupid." "Eh?Why?"

"I don't like it."

"Well,I like it so I'm writing it on the paper. We'll just ask Komui to decide it if we can't, at least give me a suggestion."

"Che." "That's not a name,Kanda."

"Shut up,I'm thinking."Kanda cast his eyes towards the baby ,sizing her up.

"Okay,how about Annabeth? Or ,oh this is pretty… Angela?"Allen gushed.

Kanda growled at the bean across him.

"You know,here's the book and I'll go grab us some food. Do you want anything?" Allen said getting up.

"Hnn." "Okay Be right back."

Allen intended to come back quickly as he sated his stomach .Hopefully Kanda won't create a disaster while he was gone.

**Hehehehe…..**

Timcampy unfortunately decided to follow his master and pig out itself so the baby in question

was becoming bored .Kanda looked up from the book to see the baby making a funny expression,kicking

it's legs because it was left alone.

He took a chair beside the cradle."Oi,doushita?" The baby looked up,startled by the sound

of a new voice . She rose her hands slightly towards Kanda.

The samurai didn't know what possesed him ,reached with his hand inside the cradle and

felt the baby grasp his finger. It wasn't a strong grip but it made one of the strongest exorcists almost paralized with awe. Of course

soon came the killer smile .Kanda smirked. "Lets find a name for you,shall we?"

And he began reading out loud.

Allen was looking impatiently at the row in front of him. It was quite long. He was tapping impatiently with his foot.

"Oi,Moyashi-chan,what's with the scary face ?"

A loud voice reached his ear. The redhead liked to appear from out of nowhere.

"Ordering food."

"And what did food do to you?"Lavi snickered.

Allen sighed."The row is too long. I don't want to leave Eve alone." He liked how the name sounded,

feeling very proud of himself.

"Eve?"

" That will be the baby's name."

"Hoho,aren't you a responsible mommy." Lavi punched him playfully on the arm.

"Mo,mommy?"Allen stammered.

"Just kidding ,by the way I don't see Yuu-chan anywhere."

"He's with Eve."

"Uso!He's babysitting? Hooo ,boy."

Lavi tried to conjure up a Kanda,holding a baby and failed majorly at it.

"'That' s why I want to hurry up and go back. Fortunately,Tim's with them."

"Allen,Yuu may be a jerk sometimes,but he is very responsible. He wouldn't do anything that could harm her."

Lavi reasoned.

Allen grudgingly nodded. Kanda irritated him,but he has yet to do something half assed or irresponsible

involving important things. The boy saw with the corner of his eye a familiar golden ball.

"Tim?What are you doing here?Did something happen? Oh,God!Lavi,I have to go!"

"Allen!"

Allen sped up to his room without turning around. He opened the door and stood in shock.

Kanda was standing beside the cradle with a bloody Mugen in his hands.

Allen's heart faltered and within seconds he was beside

the cradle hitting Kanda with all his might with his activated arm.

"What did you do?"He yelled at him.

Kanda didn't say a word and picked himself up.

Allen heard crying from the small bed and spun to see Eve unharmed,upset yes but in one piece.

"You have rats in the room."

Allen got hit with something in the face. He stared at a stabbed ,big ,grey rat.

Immediatelly he felt guilt. Kanda must have kiled it .And he…

"Kanda…"

"Forget it."The samurai stormed out,leaving a stricken Allen.

**Sorry,people I couldn't update sooner.I'm a senior student who has to take care of exams and other things in life,so**

**I'll try to make my chapters longer on the request of **

**xlonelyheartsx but I can't promise that it'll get faster…**

**Well folks until the next chapter.**


	11. Chapter 11

Allen sighed miserably. For the past hour all he could hear was the scratching of the pen against

the paper. They were doing Art therapy. Komui -san very probably wanted to be lazy so he gave them a task

to draw thus he could lie on his desk while waiting for them to finish. Time slowly dragged .The paper still pristine

white was making him dejected. Perhaps he could, like Kanda ,simply color the whole page black,

it certainly matched his sent him a lovely package full of debts

,bills and death notes. Most of them coming from whore houses. Oh,lord…He felt like throwing up

the entire day. Kanda almost tore the paper with might he was using on the paper. The psycho.

Lavi was sketching something grinning every now and then .Why oh why does he dig an

even greater grave with Komui . When he is supposed to behave while all this mess passes he decided

to act as even a greater pervert,which he is not. Not to Allen's knowledge. Krory ,who was closest

to him drew hapilly one of those flesh eating plants. The painting brought back more grim memories…

Rosanne biting his head. Master was really cruel for giving him the task of taking care of the

carnivorios plant. He was supposed to water it regularly and talk sweetly to it and it still bit him

every chance it got.

He felt so stressed. Not a week ago,he was blessed with another Cross's blunder .He was sent a package

containing Cross's child. Komui decided it would be a brilliant idea to have Kanda help him with the baby

.Really brilliant. Even though he felt sure that he would manage alone with Eve,that was sadly not the case.

His entire way of life is abruptly changing. He can't stroll around freely or hang out with Lavi .

Eve is not much of a sleeper and got really attached

to the whitehaired boy. Everytime he would, try and leave her side ,she would start crying.

And the disastrous thing was that she was very active at night and Allen would spend hours

and hours of rocking her back to sleep and then he couldn't get back to sleep,so he would fall asleep

in the wee hours of the morning when he should be already up for his morning exercises …

Kanda hasn't spoken to him since Allen over reacted the last time

The white haired boy didn't even try speaking to him, since he figured Kanda would lash out on him and

even worsen their already bad terms.

A discreet pat on the shoulder brought him back from his drowsiness. The vampire exorcist

motioned towards Komui who was watching him amused.

"When I said we will have an relaxing session I didn't mean it as if you could take naps."

"Sorry Komui-san."

"Hmm,what's wrong Allen-kun? You look positively dishelved and pale."Komui eyed him critically.

"Mah,it's nothing Komui-san."

Allen waved his head,forcing a smile.

"The baby is keeping you up,isn't she?" Lavi commented.

"Che. Weakling. "

"I don't want to hear a word from you." Allen practically hissed at smirking Kanda.

"Kanda-kun,do you help Allen at all?"Komui inquired.

"I don't need him to help me."

"That won't do.I specifically instructed that

the two of you work together. That is the main point if you didn't figure it out."

"I thought the main point was to ensure Eve's safety." Allen crossed his arms.

Komui grinned."Oh,so you named her. It 's a lovely name."

"It's stupid."Kanda deadpanned.

"You are stupid!"

"Look at you. Not being able to handle a single baby,you are so useless Moyashi."

"Allen desu. Don 't you dare talk about handling anything. You couldn't even hold her for a second."

"That's because I don't want to touch a cursed person's things."

"You son of a …!"Allen lunged at Kanda,activating his innocence. Kanda

jumped out of harm's way activating Mugen. But before any of them got a chance to maim

the other,Komurins restrained them. Kanda and Allen both looked at Komui furiously as the scientist held a remote control.

"Honestly..the two of you…Kanda let me offer you a chance of redeeming yourself by giving you

Eve for the next week…shut it I don't want to hear it!"

Kanda growled trying to escape Komurin's grip.

"And Allen…you are not allowed to help Kanda for that week."

"Are you INSANE?"Allen all but shrieked. No,no,no,this was not happening.

"Okay,for the remaining of our time you two will be in your quiet corners and not speak a

word until I ask you .Is that clear?Actually no,

that would be a bad idea. You would just distract me with your sulking. Might as well do something useful."

Komui tossed them a large piece of paper.

" Fill this paper with drawings,this will be your only means of communication,draw how you feel about eachother.

Also draw a couple of animals representing each of your comrades."

The Komurins dropped them on the floor.

"Now,Krory-san will you tell me something about your drawing. Why did you choose to draw this?"

Komui averted his attention to the tall exorcist. "Well…"Krory began "I like taking care of flowers,

they make me relax,especially when ,when my thirst for blood is strong,I tend to them and forget that I want to…"

Krory suddenly stopped and inhaled air deeply "sink my teeth into someone's flesh and drink them dry…"

Silence fell in the room,save for Lavi's gulp. Krory blinked, snapping out of whatever trance he was.

"Oh,God…I did it again,didn't I?"He almost started sobbing.

"There, you fed lately?"Komui asked half worried.

"Yes,but these days my innocence takes over a lot,especially when I smell blood."

"What happens,then?"

"I have holes in my memories…I don't remember what I say or do.

Just now I blanked and I don't remember."Krory grabbed his head anxiously…

"It'll be alright , That 's why you are here…I'll perhaps conduct a bit of hypnotherapy on you to see how much your innocence is concious."

Krory nodded gloomily then shuddered again and rolled his eyes at the back of his head.

"K,Kuro-chan?"Lavi asked timidly. Krory 's lips twisted in a disturbing smile.

"Why wait until then?"He asked in a raspy voice.

Meanwhile…

Kanda and Allen sat crosslegged from one another with the paper in the middle.

Kanda picked his pen and drew a line on the middle of the page,which was likely meaning,stay away from my side.

Allen screwed up his face and drew a devil smiley. Kanda drew a beansprout and smirked.

Allen drew Kanda's face,except Kanda looked as if he were retarded,with a drool dripping on the corner of his mouth.

Kanda drew Allen getting stabbed. Allen noted that Kanda sketched surprisingly well.

Not to be out done ,Allen reached over to Kanda's side and circled his drawing in a bubble and added it to his Kanda's head.

(In your dreams,retard would be the meaning).Kanda seethed and conjured up an Allen with a rock on his head .

On the rock he wrote the words debt. The younger of the two lost it and drew the middle finger and furiously motioned at Kanda.

Kanda drew a mouth over the offending picture. Check ,payback's a bitch. Allen flushed.

Before he decided to make a counter attack ,the both of them heard Krory's statement and Allen simply drew a question mark.

Vampire teeth,big eyes , shit . Kanda, Allen, Kanda.

Later on Komui asked them for the drawing ,they silmutaniously tore it to bits,

because God forbid that someone sees that mess…

**To be continued…**


	12. Chapter 12, chapter 11part 2

Krory is a fucking wolf in sheep's wool. Kanda decided. He did not have much contact with

the man ,and had a chance to talk to him two or three times. At that time he got the impression of

another weakling,newbie who clung to Moyashi as if the kid was a life line. This thing in front of them was giving off ominous,sinister feeling.

His face was distorted,blue veins appearing around his blood red eyes. He snarled to show a set of gleaming teeth.

Freakin shark teeth.

"So,scientist what do you ask of me?" He taunted.

Komui straightened in his chair. This is certainly getting interesting.

"Who am I speaking to?"

"Hmm,to Aristair Krory…I am still me though I tend to bury this side of me…until I snap"

He clicked with his elongated fingers.

Allen unconsciously cringed. He has never seen this side of Krory,not even in battle. Krory tilted his head ,eyes glazing over.

" Fee! Fie! Foe! Fum!  
>I smell the blood of an Englishman.<br>Be he 'live, or be he dead,  
>I'll grind his bones to make my bread."<p>

The vampire recited staring right at Allen. Allen felt his throat constrict.

"Don't worry,I can restrain myself when

I want …Just stop the bleeding as soon as possible."Krory licked his lips.

Allen stood from his chair, "Oh,my look at the time…I guess I'll go and tend to Eve, Lavi will you join me?"

Lavi nodded vigorously. Somehow, unbeknownst to people he managed to decorate himself with garlic and a huuge Cross…

Kanda gripped the hilt of Mugen, he wasn't as hell about to go down without fighting.

"Allen,you may go but others will stay. Oh,and pack Eve so you can give her to Kanda if he comes out in one piece.."Komui deadpanned.

"I'll be holding my fingers crossed that he doesn't." Allen ground out while slamming the door.

" Dark Allen is scary."Lavi whispered.

"Che."

"Feeling calmer Krory-san?"Komui inquired.

"You can say that…"

"Would you mind answering a few questions,for me?"

"I would rather be outside,hunting down akuma prey. The night is going to be soo intense…Ask away."

"Hmm,how long have you been..active?" Komui arranged his glasses.

"Since I got the innocence. It made me strong. Earlier I would keep everything supressed.

Anger,sorrow,displeasure with grandfather. Wel...l no fucking more."

Komui scribbled in his notepad.

"So you were displeased with your grandfather."

The vampire gave him 'are you retarded look?'

"The man didn't let me out my whole damn life outside the castle and forced me to

take care of some stupid course I am deeply heavens the geezer died. I shit on his flowers!"

Komui sweatdropped."And it was okay after a while, I started hunting down akuma,met the love of my life.

Ahh,Eliade…How I enjoyed holding you,drinking from you,feeling your heartbeats .Watching the moonlight with you...

And that ended well. She tried to kill me. And you exorcists came along promising a better life.

And what did I get?A monastery and poisoning from the bloody wasabi.

Of course that I would be. Very. Displeased "

Krory,closed his eyes and shuddered.

Komui sighed."We lost contact."

Kanda stared."You wanted HIM around?"

"It is interesting,his innocence is self aware but strongly deluded. It thinks it is its master."

Kanda scoffed . Maniacs.

**Think of this as part two of the last chapter.I have a treat for the readers. Here is a picture that Kanda and Allen drew. Until next time ^_^**

**http:/ /www. facebook. com/ photo. php ?fbid =288147111211397&set = o. 273993802619550&type= 1& theater **

** Note:Type without spaces in between. **


	13. Chapter 13

Milano is a wonderful city,always full of lively,cheery people,beautiful ladies (as Lavi would notice) and as of recent,

a series of strange occurings at the Sforza castle. Late at night on the top of the tower a specter is seen.

It takes a shape of a young woman and sings all through the night only to disappear with the first rays of sunlight.

Since not it only attracted the attention of the intervention of the exorcists,but akuma also, it was safe to conclude

that presence of innocence is a foot. Allen and Lavi were currently headed towards the castle. Thanks to the Arc,

they were dispatched to the nearest church, in this case a cathedral,Il Duomo.

" Ano sa, Allen. Cheer up . Lets get this over so we can enjoy sightseeing!Lavi exclaimed.

"It's been ages,since I was here. Panda jiji took me to record some stuff about Dante Aguilerri.

This is where I met a cute girl. She was also sightseeing. I convinced her for a cup of tea but…."

Allen as always managed to shut down Lavi's ramblings. Right now the only female being in his mind was Eve.

He couldn't believe that he missed her already,Kanda took her only a day ago or so.

And he hadn't heard a word from him since.

Flashback

"_Here is her stuff. And the books,and you make sure she __eats properly. She also likes to be held and if you can't_

_put her to sleep,warm the milk a tad bit and give it to her, __if that doesn't work rock her to sleep,if that doesn't work…"_

"_Will you shut up?"The samurai cut him off and grabbed __the cradle with Eve and the child's stuff none too gently__,mind you._

"_BaKanda!This is serious , __I'm telling you this to make it easier for you and safer for her."_

"_Hmph.I don't need advices from a Moyashi. __How hard can it be?"Kanda scoffed before stalking to his room._

Allen bit his lip. It is hard if you have any delicacy that is.

"Allleeeeeeen,oiiiiii….You are not listening to me again." Lavi pouted.

"Sorry Lavi."For now Allen will have to deal with this baby beside him.

Kanda Yuu was having the time of his life, getting an earful from Lenalee.

"Kanda!You simply can't let a baby stay in this kind of room!" They were currently in his room and the Chinese girl was arguing about the atmosphere of the place.

"It's too dark and cold,how can YOU sleep in this kind of place?"

Lenalee wrapped her arms around her. Kanda fought the urge to tell her off. If she had more clothes on , she wouldn't be complaining.

"She doesn't mind."Kanda motioned at the cradle.

"She is a baby,she can't tell you that she minds."

"She would be crying if she minded"

Kanda persisted. The woman was worse than Moyashi…

"She is shivering Kanda. Oh, you poor thing…" Lenalee gasped,upon touching her.

"I'm telling Nii-san to give you a warmer room or at least heat up this one."

"Now listen woman!"

"No!You listen ! It is time to stop being selfish and think about the others for a change. Now pick her up."

"…"

"NOW."

There was no arguing with Lenalee, when she got like this. Kanda approached the cradle and stared.

Lenalee rolled her eyes. Men.

"Move over."She snapped and picked up Eve with ease.

"Now,adjust your shoulder . No,not like that. Stop making faces There you go… See ,it's not that hard."Lenalee backed off satisfied.

She tried not to giggle. Kanda looked so uncomfortable and mortified;it was gold.

She wished she had a camera but …this was good as it was going to get.

The baby moved her litle feet and wriggled staring up at Kanda who stared at Lenalee.

"Well,I'm going to take my leave now. If she cries,she is probably hungry.I'll call you about the room."

"W,wait!."

Lenalee waved disappearing behind the door.'She is the same as Komui…'

The samurai sighed. Eve started giggling and pulling his side bangs ever so lightly. Kanda glanced at her.

"Tch…What do you want?"He sat on his bed and adjusted his hold. The baby was indeed slightly shivering ,

so he wrapped Eve alongside him in the long exorcist coat he wore. The baby started closing her eyes,pleased by Kanda's warmth.

Kanda unconsciously rocked her.

" Che. So small. Mini moyashi...You'll be getting a new room so bear with this ,for now." Kanda mumbled,half wondering why he even talked to her.

Not that Amaya,would understand.

He will never call her Eve. Why should he? Naming newborns after other people is considered bad luck.

The name and its meaning are a powerful thing. Should one name a child after a dead person or such,

the name would transfer all the bad vices or misfortune the deceased carried. True,Eve was the first woman

,but she was also very naïve and her naivette led her to a life filled with pain and suffering. Stupid westerners and their carelessness.

That is why,Kanda decided to argue against it with Komui and come up with a neutral name. Amaya was perfect for her and she even liked

it when he read it to her at loud. It somehow felt odd to think that one day the little being in his arms would be like him,walk,talk, argue.

Just like flowers. She will need time to grow.

"You are still a flower bud." Kanda murmured. The exorcist felt himself nodding off, which was a rarity. He never felt the need to sleep

during the day,because he always trained or read one of his gardening books. Amaya was still holding a strand

of his hair,an indicator that she still wasn't fast asleep. Her breathing was slowing down .Hnnn...

Kanda put her slowly in the cradle and wrapped her with small blankets .He will show that Moyashi just how capable he was.

Komui promised to install more heating to Kanda's room so that was also settled,except Kanda , used to the coolness of the room felt slightly agitated.

The baby liked his place so she rarely woke up night.

That 's why she woke up absurdly early,even before Kanda and he was really an early riser.

"Da,da,da,da…"

"….I'm up."Kanda would great her like that every morning for the past days .And then the morning routine would begin,changing,feeding,

preparing for training. Oh the changing…

The first time Kanda did it ,his first thought was : Disgusting and Moyashi is an idiot.

Kanda was a witness to Allen's almost puking his guts out. The Moyashi ran out of his room holding his mouth and gagging ,it was hilarious up to the point when

Kanda was the one now taking care of Amaya's mess.

And what a mess she made…Is a baby capable of loading all that?

The good side was,it didn't smell since Amaya was still feeding on formula. The bad side was, he had to clean her up. So, Kanda decided that the

best thing to do that is to go to the Order's bathrooms and use the water from the sink. Holding her at arms length

Kanda ran the cold water over the poor kid . Amaya didn't like the idea and caused a ruckuss.

Lavi caught him doing almost got the used diaper in his face. It was a real disaster.

But these past days made Kanda wiser so he used wipes.

"There,you are done."

The feeding was the least of the problems. Amaya NEVER refused food .She would latch onto the bottle and drink greedily,

squeezing it . Since she needed to be fed every three hours, Kanda took her with him everywhere.

They have become a set. He even devised a bag , so he could carry her easily with him.

He would strap it on his chest and button his cloak so Amaya's head would peak just beneath his chin.

"Say something and you die…"

He threatened Lavi and a gaping Allen as he sat himself to eat. You didn't get to see the Dark Order's deadliest ,sporting a baby after all.

The finder girls were especially annoying.

They would surround Kanda and gushed about the baby and swoon over him, praising him . It took all his will power not to cut them in half.

He hated to admit it but ,having her around wasn't too bad . It actually was fun . Like when Amaya threw up on Allen

because he thought it was a smart idea to tickle her just

right after she ate. It was a nice payback for the short brat laughing at him that time…

Flashback…

"_Mo,moyashi ,what is she doing?"_

_The brat looked some more before bursting out laughing._

_Amaya,who was gradually getting hungry,was sucking on Kanda's shirt,desperately asking for milk,which of course didn't come out._

_The thought of Kanda Yuu breast feeding was absolutely hilarious._

"_She is…bwhahah,hungry Kanda….Ahahahaha!"_

_Allen wiped the tears of his eyes."Here,it's warm enough…mommy,hahahahah!"_

Kanda facepalmed hard to erase the memory. It was downright embarassing .

Thank Kami Lavi wasn't present. He would never let him live it down…

Che.

**To be continued...**


End file.
